1

The anticlimactic buildup.

So I spent my informal last day with the company by arriving late and leaving early. Very suave. The reason was for me to join some of the guys to help them buy the groceries and prepare the food for that evening's festivities held at our co-worker's bachelor mansion, which is obviously waaaay better than work. It was the second time a dinner/drinking/videoke party had been held there, leading me to assume this is going to be an annual thing even after my resignation.

The night should have been legendary, as nothing could go wrong with spaghetti carbonara, chips and dip, Tekken 5, poker, and an unlimited well containing magical beer in your arsenal of partying. Not to mention, I acted out like an arse half the evening, an indication that the partying spirit in me is alive and well. However, it's probably just one of those days where everything was bound to suck. Ah well, the milk was spilled ever before the day started, so fuck it, getting drunk was the way to go.

When I planned to spend my last day with my co-workers, I honestly didn't have farting and cursing in front of them like a sailor as part of the agenda. (Although honestly, that was the most invigorating and refreshing thing I did the whole day, that and singing an inebriated version of "Tie A Yellow Ribbon 'Round The Old Oak Tree.") But when all was said and done, it's okay. Just like my year with the company.

I learned a lot from that place: how people think, how work sucks and will always suck, trying and failing to adapt to the sterile environment of the corporate world, and the smoking. Oh, God, the smoking. And despite all the difficulties I've caused and experienced in one feel swoop, I would say that I became a better man afterwards. Which is why I resigned. Kidding. I had fun. Seriously.

5432

The day signals the change of times as I started devoting myself to the plan, three full hours of it. The conditions were ideal: flexible hours as long as I meet a bi-monthly quota while at the comforts of our home. Busying myself on the couch with my notebook (since that was the nearest place where I can connect the notebook to the cable internet), I found out that most of the employees I was with were from a different region and speaking in their local dialect but were kind enough to speak in English most of the time when we chatted through Skype.

To give you a background, I am and will never be sociable. I have had difficulty making friends with anyone because I just don't want to. Because of this, I've had problems with school and my previous jobs. Factor all these things together and put me in a situation where I have to adjust to the nature of work and talk with my co-workers to coordinate with our project via e-mail or Skype, there will be some issues coming my way. Alas, bring it on.

It is a different world. New tasks I haven't handled before. Communicating with people who, when reduced to their physical states, happen to be voices trapped inside a strange practical device of the modern times. Not spending anything for food (Wahoo!). Stay tuned.

Back to the grind of things, as I entered the office past lunch to once again assume a job title I did not deserve to carry in the first place and in which my days are numbered. Therefore, to make the most of my stay, instead of the usual protocol where I would get my hands dirty with pending work after reading a throng of messages from my mail, I did absolutely little to justify my stay in the office. Save for the daily reports and power naps that last for an hour (a God-like nap, indeed), I spent most of my remaining days doing the things I won't be able to do a week from now: play badminton with the guys, stay up late in the office to hang out with the night shift peeps, leave the office beyond the allowed time, and just talk with them.

After the badminton game, in which I thoroughly and painfully sucked shit nipples, one of my co-workers told me that I could return and play with them anytime I'd like – a very heartwarming gesture that I'd like to repay someday. But we'll see. Maybe soon, maybe never. Whatever.

Also, props out to the night shift peeps, who once again proved to me how much of a douche I was in working in the morning.

The end is near.

6

I tried searching a local heavy metal forum site for ticket reservations of an Arch Enemy performance in A-Venue next month, when I decided to just search threads about my band instead. Back during my first few years with the group when I made a habit of constantly searching for comments on blog and forum posts on the web about our performances, I stopped all of a sudden because I realized that as a unit, we really do suck, which prompted less-than-stellar reviews from our peers.

The negativity is well-grounded and I respect most of the feedbacks, but at the same time, it bore some unintelligent and inane ones that piss all over the constructive criticism. Sure, I'm used to unkind and scathing remarks, but it's difficult to seriously take comments that simply don't make fucking sense. Blame hipsters and bandwagon jumpers who lambast bands and musicians for not being metal enough. Whatever, men. Just enjoy the music for what it is.

Well, two years past, and after all the practice and gigs we've played, it's the first time that I saw a thread talking about how much tighter and better we've gotten since we started. I know I'm far from being great when it comes to playing guitar, but it still feels good knowing that all those times of not studying in college and wasting the night away waiting for bands to finish at five in the morning before we could perform finally paid off. It's not the money (what money???) or the recognition that drives me into doing these things, but it is that exulting feeling that you get to properly give something back to music the way it gave me that satisfaction of listening to my favorite songs from the bands I idolize.

Bah.

Intermission

Went to the university in hopes of borrowing books I need for my report this coming week. However, my drive was met with utter disappointment that the goddamn traffic prevented me from getting to the library on time. Disappointment then turned into anger after finding out that the traffic was because of the college entrance exam that crammed in all the kiddies aspiring to become a iskolar ng bayan. Well, screw them. The traffic not only made me go back home empty-handed, but also forced me to go a different and longer route. Thanks, kid!

Saw I Love You, Man for the second time. The movie that introduced me the nickname Joban and that strange way of slapping the bass is the best of 2009, in my opinion, until I see Up.

Was supposed to see The Proposal with girlfriend later that night, but because of some freak accident, it never happened. Instead, we played The Sims and drank some grub at a nearby bar.

Drove by to her former house. Currently being renovated without their knowledge. Must be frustrating and heart-breaking for her to see that, but I'll always be here for her.

Hopped to the shindig of my bandmates who were bugging me to drink with them the whole evening. Even though they're the kind of people who lead carefree lives through alcohol, music, and strange company, I miss those guys. Haven't seen them in ages but talking about the old days of our playing music together brought back a sense of urgency of picking up the guitar and run through some scales, which I did when I got back home. Oh, and the recording of the guitar parts for the album is near. Face first to D-day!

Next day, accomplished paperworks to bring the plan into fruition. And so I did.

Had THE haircut of haircuts later that evening. Will definitely give me a cooler head.

Watched I Love You, Man for the third time. Never gets fucking old. I'm slapping the bass, man!

Was with girlfriend again who was alone at their house. She's tired, I know. Must do more, work harder, be better.

7

The ISO is such a bitch. The organization that is supposed to standardize work process and make production as orderly as possible actually does the opposite: confuse the process and alienate workers. At least this worker. Organized person, I am not.

Our team will create a presentation of the positive feedback and activities each project has received an performed throughout the past few months. Why our team, I don't know. Maybe it's punishment for me being absent this one meeting about, you guessed it, ISO.

I'm desperately trying to fit in part-time work in between this fast-paced schedule of mine at the moment. So far, it's going well, unless I find myself coughing my way back to bed with a crazy fever. Overworking is never good to yourself, kids.

Finished writing the third letter while riding an FX. Not the most romantic or idyllic of places to write a heartfelt note, but hey, it's the content that counts. And after her reading all the letters, it was somehow worth it in the end. Things are never easy. You just gotta make best of things thrown your way.

Talked to some of my night shift co-worker. I would be lying if I say I didn't envy their work situation. Being in the company of complete loons while burning the midnight oil and setting the whole world on fire is exactly my cup of tea.

I miss drinking alcohol.

8

The plan has been set to motion. Finalized everything with just a click of a mouse button and the plan will take effect a week and a half from now. Despite it all, I'm sure gonna miss a lot of things.

In line with this, I treated the guys to a lunch out. Originally, the idea was for everyone to buy their own food. But since they goaded me like hell to treat them, and with all things considered, I spent more than enough to make the talking heads happy. Painful on the pocket, but what the hell.

Note to self: I will never, ever ride the MRT on a Wednesday night. Holy shit.

After that treacherous travel on my way to girlfriend's house, I realized that I forgot to bring the letter that I was supposed to give her last night. All I brought was the second letter in response to the first one. But since I forgot it, there's no point in having her read the second. Because of that, I am in line for a third letter.

9

There are two things I currently hate doing: writing travel blogs for a part-time gig that was due months ago and forcing myself out of bed early in the morning. The latter I struggle to do on a constant basis. Waking up is an equivalent of having a shriveled corpse rise up from the grave. I'm eating breakfast with my eyes closed and I can't remember a damn thing before I enter the car and get dropped off at the office.

Work started out just like any other day at the office: check e-mails and watch out for client mails with scathing remarks, update documentations, coordinate with the new employees and see if they are still in the loop with the project, assist the current workers to continue with their work progress, and repeat. So yeah, it's a cruel cycle that bores even the ascetics to tears.

Boss and I had a candid talk about my plan in her fortress a floor below our office. And so it went.

After work has been done, I wrote a lengthy piece about July, which for me has been the worst month of every year. Aside from my birthday, which is a great excuse to get drunk mad, nothing really good ever comes out from it. So what's the best thing to resolve such a crummy month? Write 1,000 words about how mentally retarded I've felt throughout the past few weeks, print it out, seal it in an envelope, and send it to a special someone who would at least understand what I'm going through.

The flaw with the plan was that I never handed it to my girlfriend. Instead, we watched the usual lineup of telenovelas on a local station on TV. Although I'm never a big fan of overdrawn, pompous, and predictable shows on prime time (I despise it), I definitely don't mind watching how Rosalinda gets out of the shitty hole she's born into, or how Yuan tries to fight his conflicted feelings for this girl who broke his heart because she was manipulated by this guy who is pissed off at Yuan because he was supposed to inherit a business but the business was bestowed to Yuan. It's crazy, I know!